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03 Jul 2009|11:48pm
[ mood | :/ drained ]
[ music | Infected Mushroom - Roadhouse Blues(Crystal Method remix) ]
( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )
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11 Jun 2009|11:37pm
[ mood | :/ tired ]
[ music | Brittney Spears - Fuck me? ]
I am now qualified as a Green Defensive Driver, and also have my training to qualify for offroad/All terrain vehicle usage.
I tried to take pictures of my ATV training, but my batteries were dead. I was easily the most inexperienced driver there by far; and I still wouldn't trust me *that much* on an ATV. With more practise I'd be pretty good though. ( this probably won't actually apply to my life outside of this summer, but meh )
I also have my first weekend off practically since I got here. I think my mom might be coming to visit.
I wish I had more socks from regina. I'm going to have to start paying for laundry soon, this could be interesting.
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06 Jun 2009|03:03pm
[ mood | :( sad ]
[ music | ??? - Milky way? ]
It's officially over. 3 years, 8 months. So far, it has been fairly messy. Very emotional. The relationship was cracked, and flawed in systematic ways to start with, as insanitycase correctly pointed out, though; everything else is indeed a red herring, and I wouldn't pay attention to that stuff.
( worry about the women here )
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05 Jun 2009|04:54pm
[ mood | :( sad ]
[ music | Our Lady Peace - is there anybody home? ]
Today I was downright morose. Yesterday I was euphoric, then depressed. Every day, almost, I start the day off with a hugely positive outlook; I am ready to face the day, the world, the universe. By the end of the day, almost every day I have felt crushed, unwilling to continue, and lonelier than I've been in years(the worst one). Depending when you talk to me you will get a completely different person, even within a day.
The past few days were different. I have some things going on that have made me very happy, happier than I've been in a long, long time. Truly happy. And other things, that like today and parts of yesterday, are driving me to the bottomless pits of depression, just as bad as anything I faced at the end of my relationship with lark. This town is turning me manically depressed.
I suck at long distance relationships, and it's up to meirionwen as to whether or not we will continue to be a couple at this point, but it's looking not good. We're still friends, though, from the sounds of it.
And it's my own damn fault, for taking this adventure, and for being so terrible at long distance relationships(I think at least three others can attest to this). You'd think my self-destructiveness would wane with age, but it hasn't. Sirannon, insanitycase, others who are her friends, feel free to side with her and never speak to me if you choose; I won't hold it against you. But, I have her interests still at heart, and always will, and am hurt by my ineptitude just as much as if it were her fault(although it isn't -- it is almost entirely mine).
Where I go here, is up in the air. Will I be able to live in *regina* now? Will I be able to escape this summer paradise? Will I be able to afford my way here still, since I'm already behind in rent/etc/etc? Will I be able to take 5 classes this fall and finish my degree this year as planned? Will I continue to shoot myself in the foot? Will I continue to find love, or have I grown too old, and will I end my life merely as a lonely old man, unable to care for myself, nevermind others? Will I burn out from my 3+/-1 jobs?
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30 May 2009|11:54am
[ mood | :) asleep ]
[ music | Infected Mushroom - BREAK ON THROUGH (BT RMX) ]
This comic, by ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
dresden_codak, keeps coming up in my mind, day to day, as I live here. It's what life here feels like...as if the whole thing is one big dream, starting with the surrealistic trip here, up to the present. And I'm making a living inside my dreams, using my creative energy alone...
...case in point, a bird just flew into the cafe, and was stuck inside, as it has glass windows. I had to grab it with my jacket, and toss it outside. Poor thing.
The longer I stay on my laptop the more I feel like myself, the more I feel awake...but this makes me not want to connect so much. How messed up is that?
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26 May 2009|12:28am
[ mood | :z tired ]
[ music | ??? - supergirl ]
( Today was very humbling. )
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26 May 2009|12:26am
[ mood | :z tired ]
[ music | ???? - supergirl ]
( Today I worked the hardest I've worked in awhile. )
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25 May 2009|11:15pm
[ music | Black Eyed peas - Boom boom boom? ]
My address has changed.
I can't remember the PO box/postal code, but I'm no longer in 9 Red Wheel Motel, Outlook. My new room has no number, but it's still Red Wheel Motel.
so
Jeff Cliff/whatever appropriate name
Red Wheel Motel
Outlook, SK
I'm never home, though, since I'm working/sleeping like 24/7.
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